Motherhood has not been smooth sailing for me. I'm assuming it hasn't been for you either, although one can never tell. From day one, I've chosen to stay at home with my kids (Just for the record, I'm not saying this is for everyone...). Some personality types seem to thrive in the role of a stay-at-home mom, but for me it's been a steep learning curve. I've wrestled with a lot of dissatisfaction, feelings of insignificance, failed expectations, all of which have resulted at various times Read More
My Crisis of Faith and How to Get Through Your Own
Have you ever asked your self one of these questions: If ultimate truth really does exist, how could I even find it? And, if I did find it, how would I know that I’ve found it? There are so many religions out there, how could we possibly know which one is right? Despite giving my life to Jesus at a young age, I went through a crisis-of-faith of sorts at age 28. It actually began the very week that we interviewed to be missionaries in Iceland. My college roommate and close friend had just Read More
One Year Ago Today…
I have been searching for the right words, but it turns out I didn't need to. You can just read about it here. Read More
Good Friday and My Really Bad One
A few months ago on a Friday, there were some words exchanged in our home that led me to lock myself in the bathroom and get on my knees (Deep breath for those of you who thought being a pastor/pastor's wife meant being immune from these kinds of things...). The details are muddy, but I'm sure it involved being challenged by my husband, my pride getting dealt a good blow, and feeling offended. I was nursing the wound with tender, loving care when I remembered my prayer from that morning, Read More
The Day Colby Told Our Church to Stop Tithing
"What do you think would happen if I told our church to stop tithing?" I stopped what I was doing and looked over at Colby who was preparing for Sunday's message at the kitchen table. "Well, I'm not sure..." I responded, feeling both a level of pride in my scholarly pastor-husband who was parsing Old Testament Law...and a fear that I would soon need to start applying for a part-time job. "I mean, tithing was an Old Testament command given to ISRAEL as a part of the OLD covenant. There is Read More
“In an Orchard Stands a Tree”
“This is my dream come true,” Haley comments slowly and with awe. We are all looking out the window of our van at snowdrifts that tower over us like giants. The Northeast apparently hasn’t recovered from the winter storms and we find ourselves in a scene straight out of “Frozen.” A few minutes later, we pull up the driveway to my grandparent’s home. Only, for the first time in my life, my grandpa won’t be there. Even though it’s below freezing, the kids beg to go outside and play and I follow Read More
Last Visit
Before nap time today, I read "Mike Mulligan and the Steam Shovel" to my small kids. If you've never heard of this classic, it's about a steam shovel that has grown old and begins to feel useless in a world that is moving and changing. On the last page, I couldn't even read I was so choked up. Besides the fact that I'm highly emotional today, the story struck a chord with me because of our recent trip to see my grandparents in Connecticut. My grandpa is 92 and my grandma isn't too far Read More
2014 Year in Review
Here we are at the end of another year! I guess we all KNOW that time passes quickly, but it's mind boggling to actually experience it. Kind of like the difference between STUDYING space travel and actually DOING it. Not that I can verify this...Let's move on... Penelope Raine is now two. The terrible twos (which began somewhere around 15 months) don't seem to be AS terrible anymore and she is charming us with her new language skills and baby blues. Her favorite words to say are Read More
What Does it EVEN MEAN That God Protects Us?
This morning my eight year old and I found a quiet moment to read a devotional together. "The Lord is our Shepherd," the page read, "Always watching over us and protecting us." I began to read the line and then purposefully skipped over the words "and protecting us." I wasn't exactly sure why I skipped it, and if I had two bodies, ONE of me would have put her hands on her hips and turned her head to look at the other me in confusion. I kissed Darcy on her forehead and she ran out the door to Read More
The Imperfect Pastor
Today I called my friend who just happens to be a pastor’s wife. “How are ya?” I ask casually. “Not good,” she says, not trying to pretend in the least. My ears perk up and I can feel myself getting excited by her rawness. “Okay, so what’s going on?” I dig a little until I run into some roots. “We’re just having trouble this week… I don’t feel very loved by him…” After several minutes of conversation, we come to the source of their primary struggle: she was frustrated that her husband Read More
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“Remember He is the artist and you are only the picture. You can’t see it. So quietly submit to be painted” -CS Lewis