Annie B Garman

Motherhood, Mayhem, & The Meaning of Life

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Family Blog

Can’t Not

May 16, 2011Annie

When Melissa became a vegan, she was quick to say that it was most likely just the “next big thing.”  We all laughed at her because we’ve seen this pattern in her, but we too can relate to this phenomenon that she put a name to.   I have a tendency to get excited about something, spend a bunch of time and energy on it only to get sick of it and move on to the next thing that will bring an adrenaline rush.

In the last 6 months I’ve been working on a project…and quitting the project….picking it back up….and despising it….going back to it….wishing I had never started it….feeling motivated about it….feeling discouraged about it…loving it…hating it…but all along knowing that I can’t NOT do it.

It’s a vulnerable thing:  trying something.  Doing something.  Many days I’d rather not attempt anything at all, and just enjoy the benefits of what others have done. Other days I feel more ambitious and I desire not only to consume culture, but to create it.

I have no idea what will come of my efforts, and (as a friend just told me), I may never know.  Am I creating enough tension yet?  Yes?  No?  Maybe?  Stay tuned for the “UNVEILING”…..

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“Remember He is the artist and you are only the picture. You can’t see it. So quietly submit to be painted” -CS Lewis
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