This morning my eight year old and I found a quiet moment to read a devotional together. "The Lord is our Shepherd," the page read, "Always watching over us and protecting us." I began to read the line and then purposefully skipped over the words "and protecting us." I wasn't exactly sure why I skipped it, and if I had two bodies, ONE of me would have put her hands on her hips and turned her head to look at the other me in confusion. I kissed Darcy on her forehead and she ran out the door to Read More
The Night I Asked For Prayer instead of Chocolate
Recently I called two friends and asked if we could get together for prayer and accountability. I knew it wasn’t going to be much fun. I mean, I would have much rather asked them to go to Applebees for a Triple Chocolate Meltdown, but I knew I needed this. I needed to reach out and admit that I wasn’t doing okay and that I needed prayer. It was the last thing on earth that I wanted to do--be vulnerable and share my sin struggles. It’s a lot easier to put on like I’m strong and have Read More
A Girl Named Noel Devin
Today there is a funeral in Texas. I'm sure there are many other funerals happening around the world today, but this one is for my friend, Noel. I've never met Noel, so it may appear strange that I wrote something to be read at her funeral. But, actually the opposite is true. I wish I could have flown to Texas today to read this in front of everyone, but I couldn't. But the following is what I would have said: ** My name is Annie Garman and I have never met any of you. But our lives Read More
The Story of My Miscarriage (Proceed with Caution)
My friend asked me to write about my miscarriage for an e-book she's writing. After a few hours writing/crying/reliving this experience, I thought to myself: Why would anyone want to read this? This question prevents me from sharing a lot of what I write. However, today I'm deciding to post this in hopes that it will 1) help someone not feel so alone in the wake of their miscarriage 2) encourage someone by telling them how I got through it. If you don't like miscarriage stories, you Read More
Unravel
The day after I deep clean has historically been a very rough one. I cringe (on a good day, worse on a bad day) as I stand watching my hard, sweaty work completely UNRAVEL before my very eyes. In most cases I have to step outside and practice deep-breathing techniques as a coping mechanism. Today I stood by Penelope’s high chair literally trying to catch her crumbs as her windmill arms swung and flung...my upper back starting to ache as I envisioned myself cleaning the floor for a third time Read More
Growth Hormones
It’s been awhile since I’ve given a report on our current status…so…well….let’s just sum it up this way: At this exact moment, I am hiding in my garage. The footsteps that I hear above me sound like mice on artificial growth hormones, but this is literally the best I can do today. I have locked myself in my van in the garage in an attempt to get a few minutes of uninterrupted solitude. There are only 13 minutes of battery life left on my laptop, but if you think I’m going to risk it Read More
Mommy Angst (Part 4 of 4)
Jerry Falwell died before I was able to ask him my question. It really is unfortunate since there's a part of me that still is slightly perturbed at him. It wasn't just his flippant statements post 9-11 or his rash opinions of the TeleTubbies, or even the fact that his reputation made me feel uncomfortable whenever someone asked me where I went to college. It's the fact that every Wednesday for my entire college career Jerry spoke at our convocation, compelling us to Go A Little Farther AND Read More
I am a Heart Mom
I am a heart mom. I have felt, at a twenty-week ultrasound, floorboards cracking and giving way under my jumping, celebrating feet as the words Congratulations, it's a girl were chased away all too quickly with There is something wrong with your baby's heart. I know the torment of wondering, wrestling, and combating a viscous voice that whispers...This is all my fault... I know the pain of weeping in my husband's arms after a baby shower, unsure if my baby would ever wear her new, pink Read More
Earthquakes and House-Fires and Bees….Oh MY!
It all started when I read my six year old's writing assignment for Thanksgiving: Tell me something that you're thankful for: A-Z. Most kids would happily write of apples, balloons, cats, and ducks. Not my Haley Jane. Listen to letter A: I am thankful that Aligatrs are not in are howse. Letter B: I am thankful that nuthing Bit me. Fast forward to Letter X: I am thankful I nevr so a fox. Haley is acutely aware of all the traumatic things that could possibly occur in this world, and this Read More
Gold Rain
Today I decided to step out of the tornado and sit outside to write. It’s been a while since I’ve aired out my head. I’m learning that it is not selfish for me to take out time for myself but rather NECESSARY in order to be who I need to be for my kids and my husband. Right now I am sitting outside watching red, orange, and gold rain down all around me. The evening light catches the leaves at a perfect angle and illuminates the tree like one grand, stain-glassed window in this outdoor Read More