Saturday was incredibly rough. I still don't even understand it all, but it was a big pot of pride and selfishness, mixed with exhaustion, and seasoned with despair. It seemed a knot too complex to ever unravel. I felt like throwing in the towel of ministry because of what a loser I was. Why even try? Why even try to minister to others when I can't even help myself? I'm not sure if you've ever been to the bottom of the pit, but I can assure you that it's dark and confusing and oppressive. Read More
Dear Church Planter: Four Things Your Wife Wants You To Know
Last weekend, my husband and I had the opportunity to talk to a room of church planters and their wives. I was able to read the following letter to the men in the room who were starting a church from scratch. If some of this resonates with any of you wives out there, I pray you would find the right time and place to communicate with your husband in a spirit of graciousness. Dear Church Planter, If you’d be willing to listen, please allow me to share with you Four Things Your Wife Wants You to Read More
Good Friday and My Really Bad One
A few months ago on a Friday, there were some words exchanged in our home that led me to lock myself in the bathroom and get on my knees (Deep breath for those of you who thought being a pastor/pastor's wife meant being immune from these kinds of things...). The details are muddy, but I'm sure it involved being challenged by my husband, my pride getting dealt a good blow, and feeling offended. I was nursing the wound with tender, loving care when I remembered my prayer from that morning, Read More
The Imperfect Pastor
Today I called my friend who just happens to be a pastor’s wife. “How are ya?” I ask casually. “Not good,” she says, not trying to pretend in the least. My ears perk up and I can feel myself getting excited by her rawness. “Okay, so what’s going on?” I dig a little until I run into some roots. “We’re just having trouble this week… I don’t feel very loved by him…” After several minutes of conversation, we come to the source of their primary struggle: she was frustrated that her husband Read More
I am a Pastor’s Wife
When asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, there were a lot of things on my list. There was one thing, however, that I did NOT want to be and that was…(you guessed it)…a pastor’s wife. I’m not sure how it happened exactly... which (I know what you’re thinking) is completely naïve and foolish, but one minute I was a junior in college dating a tall, handsome Biblical Studies major... ...and then the next minute we were engaged, and he was looking at a job as a Bible teacher at a Christian Read More
Plucking Chin Hairs
When I was in college, I spent the majority of my Friday nights in a nursing home. There was a group of us who used this first night of the weekend to get off our Christian campus, out of the Christian bubble, and spread some love to those in the community. Some went downtown, some went to the hospital, but I usually chose to go to the nursing home. Some of the elderly we visited greeted us with huge toothless smiles, while some didn't even look up from their folded over slumber. We would Read More