In case you missed it elsewhere on this blog, our third daughter, Gracie Garman, was born with a congenital heart defect called Hypoplastic Right Heart Syndrome. The morning of Gracie's first open heart surgery, I woke up at 3:30 AM feeling like I had a stomach full of acid. As I turned to go down the stairs, I had an incredibly loud thought. (Possibly the voice of God, but I really don't want to blame this whole thing on Him in the event that it wasn't His idea). Well, anyway, this was the Read More
Today is Our Anniversary
I never wanted to get married, at least that’s what I claimed. I met Colby John Garman my freshman year of college right outside the post office on campus. He was wearing a plastic bow tie (obviously attained from the nearby dollar theatre) and shook my hand jokingly like a politician. I can remember the morning sun was in my eyes as I looked at him and could really only make out a fuzzy silhouette. I didn’t think twice about him. I was meeting new people every single day. As the year Read More
The Story of My Miscarriage (Proceed with Caution)
My friend asked me to write about my miscarriage for an e-book she's writing. After a few hours writing/crying/reliving this experience, I thought to myself: Why would anyone want to read this? This question prevents me from sharing a lot of what I write. However, today I'm deciding to post this in hopes that it will 1) help someone not feel so alone in the wake of their miscarriage 2) encourage someone by telling them how I got through it. If you don't like miscarriage stories, you Read More
Unravel
The day after I deep clean has historically been a very rough one. I cringe (on a good day, worse on a bad day) as I stand watching my hard, sweaty work completely UNRAVEL before my very eyes. In most cases I have to step outside and practice deep-breathing techniques as a coping mechanism. Today I stood by Penelope’s high chair literally trying to catch her crumbs as her windmill arms swung and flung...my upper back starting to ache as I envisioned myself cleaning the floor for a third time Read More
We Have an Announcement to Make….
I WOULD call it the immaculate conception, but my husband thinks that's both naive and sacrilegious...so I won't. Back in January, I decided to go to Urgent Care to get some antibiotics. I had been sick for weeks and assumed I had some kind of vicious bacteria growing inside of me. I thought I would stop by Rite Aid on my way and get a pregnancy test so that when the doctors asked if I was by any chance pregnant, I could confidently present to them my answer and get on the strongest Read More
Earthquakes and House-Fires and Bees….Oh MY!
It all started when I read my six year old's writing assignment for Thanksgiving: Tell me something that you're thankful for: A-Z. Most kids would happily write of apples, balloons, cats, and ducks. Not my Haley Jane. Listen to letter A: I am thankful that Aligatrs are not in are howse. Letter B: I am thankful that nuthing Bit me. Fast forward to Letter X: I am thankful I nevr so a fox. Haley is acutely aware of all the traumatic things that could possibly occur in this world, and this Read More
Middle of the Night
How do you shield your children from the reality of death? Do you pretend it isn't a fact of life and ignore it? Do you guard them from thinking about it and constantly divert their attention to juvenile things? Or do you talk candidly about it, helping them think about it in a healthy way? The reality of death is really everywhere. You really can't teach your kids Bible stories without running into this theme rather quickly. Disney films don't even try to hide the fact that people pass Read More
approval addict
Today in language school, I was called on to read some sentences to practice pronunciation. Whenever this happens, I feel hot liquid run through my veins, down past my knees. I took a deep breathe, and with confidence began reading. After I struggled through the last line, "kaffið er kalt og vont" (the coffee is cold and bad), the teacher began to shake his head and commented, "það hljomar ekki vel." My heart began to beat fast as I sensed I had not done something well (ekki=not, vel=well). Read More