Has anyone else out there ever had trouble admitting they were wrong? What is it about these three little words? Recently I've come to realize how bad I am at apologizing in our marriage. I'm sure Colby has been trying to get me to see this about myself since early in marriage, but I've probably not been listening (a whole other issue that I struggle with!). The first time I really saw it, I was opening up to my best friend about a marital problem. "What, do you think you're perfect?" she Read More
Push Through the Awkward To Say “I Love you”
Recently I was reading something by Christine Hoover and was struck by the phrase she came up with: Push through the Awkward. I've used it many times since then because I think it does a good job capturing something. I got kind of inspired to write a "Push Through the Awkward" series last month. I'm really not sure if it'll be useful to anyone out there, but hopefully it will give you a little something to think about. I guess this post could also be titled, "When it's hard to say I love Read More
When You Lose Heart
Saturday was incredibly rough. I still don't even understand it all, but it was a big pot of pride and selfishness, mixed with exhaustion, and seasoned with despair. It seemed a knot too complex to ever unravel. I felt like throwing in the towel of ministry because of what a loser I was. Why even try? Why even try to minister to others when I can't even help myself? I'm not sure if you've ever been to the bottom of the pit, but I can assure you that it's dark and confusing and oppressive. Read More
A No-Good, Very Bad, Good Friday
I decided to repost this blog from a few years ago since I've talked recently about rebuke/correction on here. As you can see, it's been quite the theme for a few years! Thankfully, God has not given up on me and I know He has done a work to soften my heart. I am a work in progress, and He is not finished with any of us! *** Last Friday, there were some words exchanged in our home that led me to lock myself in the bathroom and get on my knees. (Deep breath for those of you who thought being a Read More
Being IN the Psalms
I was asked to write a blog post this summer about a Psalm that I felt I was living in. I thought I'd post it on here too. Here's what I came up with: “Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin! For I KNOW my transgressions and my sin is ever before me.”- Psalm 51:1-3 This summer has been rough in some ways. Not in every way of course. I have spent the Read More
Top 10 Lessons Learned in 2015
I came across this blog title last year and made a note to copy it. It's one of my traditions at the end of a year to read my journal from that year. It's always an insightful activity...to remember what I struggled with...to reflect on what God has taught me... After going through my journal from 2015, a few themes stood out. Here are the Top 10 Lessons from 2015: 1. I am weak. I haven't blogged a ton this past year. Of course, it has something to do with having four kids and being Read More
When You Forget the Most Important Thing
Well, it happened. I’ve heard of it happening to others, but never imagined it would happen to me. Everything was packed and ready for our missions trip to Iceland. I was taking a team from our church to Reykjavik to run an English camp for Icelandic children. I had the lesson plans, construction paper, multi-leveled books, writing paper, stickers, small prizes, and had even remembered to bring extra staples in case we ran out. My list had all been checked off and I was feeling pretty proud Read More
Mommy Angst (Part 4 of 4)
Jerry Falwell died before I was able to ask him my question. It really is unfortunate since there's a part of me that still is slightly perturbed at him. It wasn't just his flippant statements post 9-11 or his rash opinions of the TeleTubbies, or even the fact that his reputation made me feel uncomfortable whenever someone asked me where I went to college. It's the fact that every Wednesday for my entire college career Jerry spoke at our convocation, compelling us to Go A Little Farther AND Read More
GUILTY
In late March, I got pulled over for the first time in my life. I was on my way to a pediatric cardiologist appointment in Charlottesville and had even made a commitment that morning to NOT, under any circumstances, speed. That commitment apparently only lasted 20 minutes because on Route 3 a sheriff flagged me down and gave me a ticket. I felt distraught...ashamed...helpless. There was only one hope: a court date on May 3rd. Today I woke up and rushed the three girls out the door to the Read More
Green Grass
On Tuesday, I was having a funk day. It was probably just fatigue after a jam-packed weekend, but nonetheless, every little chore felt monumental. I was sitting in a exhausted stupor after lunch watching the kids nag each other, depressed that all my training and hard work with them had been in vain. This came after a discouraging day homeschooling as Haley's backwards 5s and Zs almost sent me to the psychiatric ward. So there I was, sitting and thinking about how I needed find a better job Read More