How can you sum up a year? My husband says that if people want to know about our year, they can just look at our Facebook or Instagram pictures. This is true…
But, pictures can’t always capture the moment.
They can’t capture the moment when you are cooking dinner and your oldest daughter is asking you an amazing question about monasticism that makes the teacher in you do a happy dance…while your second oldest daughter is making a smoothie and whispering for you to guess the secret ingredient with a smile that makes you melt…all while your youngest daughters are standing upside down on their head singing, “Mommy is…standing…on the ceiling!!” to the tune of something they heard on the radio.
No…even if I could grab my camera, the chaotic beauty of that moment immediately starts to evaporate. There is something special about writing it down.
So, I try to write it down.
2017 was full of mundane moments and it even had some miraculous moments.
We attended funerals and we celebrated new life.
There were conflicts and arguments. There was peace and joy that made it all pale in comparison.
There were quiet evenings where we had successfully worn the kids out and cuddled on the couch while Colby read to us about the wonders of eternity.
There were loud evenings where little kids were practicing their new gymnastics moves off the couch while the big kids were trying to each finish their own art and science projects.
We stayed home and had cabin fever; we traveled and explored new corners.
We were offered a new job in Pittsburgh; we realized that we have all we could ever need here in Virginia.
We flew ten hours to Hawaii so we could kiss dolphins, have a vertigo attack, and celebrate the life that Gracie has been given to live.
We raised $2200 (because of YOUR generous support and contributions) so that a child across the world might have a chance at life too.
We sent all four kids off to public school and I did cartwheels across the living room while screaming sporadically for approximately a month…while simultaneously feeling my heart being ripped out of my chest as I grieve their childhoods slipping away.
How can a picture do that justice?
Either way, 2017 was a beautiful mess. One where I was constantly reminded of my depravity and came to cherish Jesus’ sacrifice for my sin all the more.
I failed at ALL my 2017 resolutions, which was pretty disappointing (wasn’t planking for 3 minutes a reasonable goal?!), and I look back with somber reflection on all my other failures. This year my only resolution is to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with my God. (Micah 6:8). I will fail, but I make it my aim to please Him (2 Cor. 5:9).
In 2018, there will continue to be brokenness all around us. And more so inside of us. But, God, may you leave your fingerprints across the details of this new year. Help us to cultivate communion with You as we wait patiently for You. Teach us to number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
Susan McCartney says
Annie, I love your posts! I don’t always get to read them but when I do, I always feel blessed by your honesty. You probably don’t remember me. I came two or three times to your church when my daughter and son-in-law used to go there. I am Susan McCartney and my daughter is Sarah Deutsch, soon to be Sarah McCartney again. Willie and Sarah are divorcing which breaks this mama’s heart. But as you said, we do not lose heart because we have a Savior who knew all of this before and who will lovingly continue to write my daughter’s story, even though it does not look like the happily ever after that her mama wanted for her. I loved your little church and I love keeping up with your sweet family.
Happy 2018 to you and yours!
Blessings in Christ,
Susan
Annie says
Susan, I do remember you! I’m not sure if you’ll see this response, but, yes, I’m praying for Sarah and Willie…I’m sure there’s a lot of heartache for everyone involved. Thanks for taking time to leave a comment and give some encouragement 🙂