Today I was sitting outside enjoying the sunshine and trying to work on a few things. My six year old came out with a wide grin and informed me that she was inside “making a party” for me. I let her know I’d be in soon to see it, but that didn’t seem to satisfy her. Every two minutes she came out to inform me that the party was ready and that I needed to come in and see it. NOW.
I eventually stopped the email I was trying to write and came inside to discover a trail of a 1,000 puzzle pieces. I was told to start at the beginning of the trail and follow it to the party. I obeyed the instructions, only for the trail to lead me to the girl’s bathroom. Once inside, Gracie slammed the door and locked me in.
“You’re trapped,” She grinned. “There was no party…I was trapping you.”
Apparently this was the theme for the day. When I walked into my ten-year-old’s bedroom to tuck HER in, I stepped into a circle of thin thread. Seeing that I was exactly in her target, she dropped a rock tied to the other end, and the thread went up around my legs like prey in a net.
Unfortunately the “rock” was actually just a clump of hard dirt that broke into a million pieces when it collided with the floor.
I smiled at her creativity, but had to walk out of the room so she wouldn’t see the frustration in my eyes (we had just cleaned the whole house).
Yes, quite the theme for today…I feel trapped by my desires. TOO. MANY. DESIRES. A desire for my kids to be creative geniuses, but a conflicting desire for a home that stays immaculate (I’m beginning to think the two cannot co-exist).
Trapped by sin.
Trapped by anger. Too quickly I’m falling into this pit, even though it should be as obvious as a circle of thread next to Darcy’s bed.
Trapped by perfectionism. Why is it that I feel like I can’t do anything else (write, be hospitable, serve others) unless our home is perfectly clean and organized? It’s suffocating and I can’t do it anymore.
Trapped by entitlement. How did I get the idea that everything should go exactly the way I want it to?
Trapped by selfishness. I wish I were as obsessed with the happiness of others as I am with my own.
Trapped by anxiety. I can’t control these kids and that is a terrifying thought to me.
But, thankfully I have many opportunities to learn.
Thankfully the kids have off school A LOT this month and the creative, messy projects will abound… giving me much practice.
Thankfully Gracie just tried to crack an egg to “help” make French toast… and the mess on my floor reminds me of the vanity of perfectionism.
Thankfully today is Sunday and I’m reminded of the great Rescuer who frees us from traps worse than a girl’s bathroom.
Thankfully there is forgiveness where there is humility.
Thankfully there is a Savior.
And thankfully we have much hope when we look up to Him and not to ourselves.