The last time I purchased soda was October 1994. It was at an Oktoberfest carnival in LaCrosse, WI where I purchased a Mountain Dew and a bag of Cheetos. Shortly thereafter I rode the tilt-a-whirl and got so sick that I vowed never to drink “pop” again (Yes, I’m a Yankee). My cross-country coach also convinced me that drinking soda would slow me down, so I have not consumed much of anything carbonated for over a decade….that is, until recently.
When Clint came in December, he bought a 2 Liter of Coke Zero for himself. I tolerated it’s presence in the home, but soon after becoming pregnant, have become addicted to it. Here is the sequence of events that has occurred nearly every evening over the last few months:
1. Sometime near the end of the day, the regurgitation starts in my stomach and climbs up my throat.
2. My whole body gets hot and I start shedding layers of clothes to try to stop the nausea.
3. I begin deep breathing techniques to distract myself from the tight feeling at the top of my throat.
4. The next step: Quickly stumble to the kitchen (dodging our curtain-less windows), grab Clint’s 2 Liter, and chug.
5. Fight the overwhelming feeling of nausea by pounding on the nearest inanimate object (Colby in the background: “Can you keep it down over there? You’re going to wake the kids!”)
6. Pray in the name of Jesus that I can KEEP the precious calories I worked so hard to get in my body.
7. Then, it would happen every time….the soda does it’s magic and soon I am burping louder and fiercer than a teenager at a Pizza Blast Lock-In (Colby in the background again (disgusted): ” Oh, Come On…Utterly.Ridiculous”).
8. Collapse on the couch from the whole, exhausting battle thanking God for Clint Clifton’s addiction to Coke Zero.
When my first trimester ended, I poured the 2 liter down the sink in a moment of pre-mature celebration (it had also become flat). However, on Saturday night, I started to feel Step 1 starting and proceeded through to step 4. It was a moment of horror to open the fridge door and not find a single carbonated item with which to assist me in the battle against regurgitation. There was simply nothing I could do…I lost every ounce of my dinner in the toilet (with BOTH kids behind me crying, “I have to go POTTY…mommy, I need to GO…..right NOW!!” How does that happen?). I have thrown up more in my 2nd trimester than I did in my 1st. Clint, can you please come over and buy me some more pop? I can’t bring myself to end my streak (Okay, that’s not true, but it was a good final sentence).